She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
