i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're like the curious george of whores
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
