Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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