I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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