I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
