can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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