Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
