we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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