Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize