I showed him my bush... on skype.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
