Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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