i think my tv is drunk
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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