So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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