I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dick very happy bro
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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