Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
