The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She even gives head with a lisp.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
