exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
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I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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