All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
