He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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