Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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