I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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