i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
