John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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