she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
