Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
