i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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