maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
