I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
