i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???