chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy