She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me