the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize