my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.