What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize