Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
