It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
dude. I can hear the air.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
