I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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