Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize