Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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