I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
