And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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