shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
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I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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