Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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