I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
