There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
