You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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