the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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