I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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