Tell her she can't have a vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
