Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
