so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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