sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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