He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
