Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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