How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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