My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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