I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize