: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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