They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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