She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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