Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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