let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
