I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
