can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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