Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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