the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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